I don't ever check this site anymore so I'm not sure why anyone else would ..

But just in case, here's an update:

WOW. First semester of teaching almost through. I've nearly totally and completely burnt myself out in just a few short months. But the pace of working pretty much all weekend every weekend, and until 9 or 10 every night has a very short wick, you see. Throw in a few 8 hour Saturday classes with all the trimmings (aka homework), I have almost nothing else to report. Oh, wait, yes I do. In January, all my classes repeat and I won't have to wing it so much, and create notes completely from scratch day in and day out.

I am, however, having a great time, I'm just exhausted. Today is a day off for election day. Kudos to SC for making election day a holiday instead of Veterans Day. Don't get me wrong, I love the vets, but today seems so much more purposeful and with Veterans Day a mere 3 days away, I can give them an early shout out from here.

Two weeks from today is our last school day before Thanksgiving. Dr J and I aren't going anywhere; he's got grand plans to stain the deck and I've got grander ones of yoga and pedicures. We went to Texas about a month ago for my 10 year reunion (which was surprisingly nice!) and we are going to ColOmibia for Christmas so this will be our time home. And in case you are hoping to invite us to your Christmas party, you need to get that invite in the mail because our holiday social calender is all but chock full between now and the new year!

Now that this semester is almost under control, I hope to have a little e-time every now and then. It's starting to stay colder here (not cold, just can't run around in your knickers) which is good, and thank the lord that Mona has taught herself to play fetch. Fun and warmth all in one!

I do apologize to all my friends who have been e-neglected for several months. Congrats to all my friends popping out little ones in the next few months as well!!

All this fresh material and no one to tell

So I was returning from lunch with a few coworkers today when the oddest thing happened. I notice one of my coworkers not paying attention to a THING that my other coworker was saying - this was not unusual - but the head jerking and face making was. As I'm about to have to ask coworker #1 to repeat herself because coworker #2 is being so incredibly distracting, I say to coworker #1 "what are you ... " and that's when I was struck with the inability to close my mouth or to utter a word as I stood there. staring at a young lad who had decided to sunbathe in all his pastey-whiteness wearing only a pair of khaki's (what else) on the concrete loading dock behind our building. He looked to be cushioned by the meager remains of a well-worn hand towel.

I know I said this is probably over, and it probably is, but this is great

This is for all my friends who, like me, will be able to visualize all of this in its original format.

Evolution of dance.

Good news, Bad news

I have attempted to blog once since May 9th, but blogger was being a putz so it didn't do much good. Sadly, this long delay in communication probably marks the end of my blogging days. Since last we spoke, my parents were in town for two weeks, I ran a 3-day workshop, I've been to Charleston SC, Savannah GA, and Chicago IL, and tomorrow I leave for Atlanta. To my friends in San Diego awaiting my arrival in a couple weeks, yes, this is why you haven't heard ANYTHING from me. None of this appears to be slowing down anytime soon so, farewell blog friends. I hope from time to time to update, maybe once the Fall gets here I'll have more time than I think.

Trebuchet that!

I feel like I've developed quite the working relationship with one of your favorite do-it-yourself stores, seeing as how I've been there two to three times a week for the past month. I can only imagine the pride swelling up in my father right now. And I can tell you that if you need more than 1000 #6 3/4" wood screws, you have to buy them one week at a time. If you need on the order of 3000, you'll piss of the hardware manager. He'll try to keep his cool, but that thick neck and reddening face just don't hide it. And if, by chance, you have a little run in with Ace Hardware over the fact they decided your order was too large to handle yet not call and inform you of this decision for two weeks, it's best to just walk out the front door and call them later when you have cooled off and found a more worthy distributor.

So, Thursday I will be constructing 160 miniature trebuchet bases. How many of you can say you've ever done that? Oh, and if you can stop by for a few hours with a drill and your own set of drill bits, I'll buy you an ice cream.

A little gift from me to you

I am probably the last person to know and use this website but I have just been introduced and it's my new best friend (sorry Dr. J).

http://www.rottentomatoes.com

Check it, check it, check it. This place has movie reviews ... but fantastically organized and easy to use. Pick from all reviewers, "cream of the crop" aka the well known reviewers ... you are looking for a tomato which in this case is a good movie. A green blat is a rotten tomato - a flop. Essentially anything that gets over about 70% is worth some attention. The percentages compile all reviewers as well as readers so less chance of being misguided by that pot-smoking reviewer that has nothing in common with me and my love of all things kitten. Also gives you heads up and all release dates of upcoming once they are confirmed.

www.kayak.com

And as a little added bonus, for my frequent traveler friends, I have also been introduced to the latest and greatest in discount fare searching. You know you love me.

Sweeps and a Sweep

You know how this week was National Turn Off Your TV Week? It turns out we were pretty busy lately (plus I've picked up a few healthier habits) but were the networks in on this or what? Was it just me or were all your favorite shows just really REALLY lame recap clips when they have already had a recap clip showing this season?? I think it's false advertising to say that the show is first run, but then have it be an hour long series of clips over the past two years. This is the saddest of ways to gear up watchers for May Sweeps.

On the other hand, I gave Dr. J a solid beating in putt-putt last week.

There's not really a short version but this is the gist ...

So beginning in August of 2006, I'll be teaching High School Physics.

You are officially hearing about it today because after many months of RI.DIC.U.LOUS amounts of paperwork, detaisls and studying for PRAXIS exams so that I can be admitted into an alternative certification program, it's all but done. I have one job offer on the table and will hopefully have another tomorrow and then it's just a matter of three years of teaching, classes, seminars before they give me a teaching certificate.

That's it!

It has been an arduous process but, honestly, I can't wait to get started. I "quit" the PhD program before this semester started (back in January) but I had to keep taking classes because I'm employed through it based on full time student status. All those papers this semester? Probably no long term credit. We'll see. So I've been very e-quiet because I was holding down my job, being a student, oh and I took on another job and have been trying to get certified.

Anyway, for those of you that are concerned, nothing has really changed. I'm still interested in Engineering Education but the program I had begun was still too much of an engineering degree (I don't need another one!) - basically I decided it wasn't providing me the educational experience I had hoped for. I want to get into K-12 Math/Science Curriculum in the future ... thus, I need teaching and an education degree. But that's for future worries. For the immediate future, I'm excited about starting teaching full time!!

It was never really a secret or anything, I just sort of wanted things to pan out before it was officially .. official.

Now there are two women of the house

Last night Dr. J and I had a scare. The little professor went out for her evening stroll and didn't come back. I know you won't believe it until you see it for yourself, but normally when I let her out she comes back in when I call her, whether she's ready to return or not.

We don't usually let her roam around once it's really dark so about 9 last night I called her

... and called her

... and called her.

Like true parents, we immediately started thinking the worst - our teenager was out there getting knocked up. I quickly remembered that she had been fixed and at least we won't be having babies before she can graduate from high school, but we weren't prepared for her to become a woman this early in her baby life!! About every 10 minutes or so we walked outside and called her, and called her, with no response. Maybe she fell out of a tree, maybe she's been hit by a car - the horrible things that went through our minds! Dr. J gave it one last try about 10:30 and I went out and called her twice. Nothing. As I turned to come in, I half-heartedly gave it one more shot and ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! Prof. M runs by me into the house like nothing had happened.

She did look a little older when she returned. Walked a little more ... worldly. I'm not sure what happened out there, and I don't think I want to know.

And the game comes to an end

Today is the day when I give my Bingo Final Presentation and boy do I have some results. We are jazzing it up a little so it's more One Act Play than Class Presentation, so while it will be more fun and hopefully more interesting, it also is causing me quite a lot of butterflies. I like to think that down deep I'm really a great actress in the body of a mediocre engineer, alas, my two and a half minute Bingo Artifact Monologue is giving me the flutters.

Wish me luck!

A solution for loneliness

If anyone hasn't seen this yet, I HIGHLY recommend it. This is the cutest thing I think I've ever seen. It makes me want to knit a one-armed sweater for Mona.

Tree Sweater

A Toasty Mona

A Toasty Mona
Originally uploaded by missyajg.

This little kitten is plagued with the same disease as every other cute kitty in the world: she cannot let an opened door or an unwatched bag go unnoticed. Here we see her basking in the warmth of the dryer, exhausted from hours of rummaging through my purse and backpack.

Dee dee da duuuum!

Long time on hold listening to saxophones and flutes moan out a little elevator music ... ...

...

...


...



sigh.

Hey, but we did get grass planted this weekend. So that's good!

(dee dee daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa da doooooooooooo ... deeeeeeeee da de do .....)

we are now plus one mower and one rubbermaid storage unit

In the event that our grass decides to gestate and oh, I dunno ... grow, we are now fully prepared. Over the last couple months, Dr. J and I have compiled quite the collection of fertilizers, rakes, hoses, sprinklers and small garden tools, all of which have lived happily in the 3 ft x 3 ft covered concrete space just outside our side door or happily stored underneath the sink in the guest bath. However, with the addition of Moe, the mower, the scales finally tipped in favor of a rubbermaid storage unit. This has been quite the challenge for lawn care rookies, such as ourselves. I'm sure it comes as a surprise to no one that neither Dr. J nor myself has spent much time slaving in the garden.

We are now in full on attack mode in a very determined effort to make the "contractor's sod" either take or begin proactive medicinal lawn treatments. We live mere blocks from some of the most beautiful lawns in Columbia, which doesn't do much to console our frustration that our sod is a strong gust of wind away from loitering on our neighbor's lawn. I think I saw a tear well up in the corner of Dr. J's eye as we drove by The Perfect Lawn this afternoon. Hang in there, J. Our labors are not in vain.

I am proud of all of you, but that doesn't mean i don't think you're crazy, cause I do

This weekend, I have two friends in the St. Louis Marathon, one (maybe two!?) in the St. Louis Half Marathon, one in the Paris Marathon, and one in the Ironman in Arizona. Good luck to you all!!!

Wow. You'd think with all those good examples around me, I'd be a pillar of athleticism and good health.

You'd be wrong though. Dr. J and I have decided we are going to split a pan of turtle brownies and then take an absurdly long nap on Sunday in your honor.

Run like the wind!!

Dance to the Bingo

My life of late has been primarily composed of three things: The Girls (now in Season 5 L&L are together!!), Weeds, and Bingo. The weather here has been beautiful lately so I can't complain about the weeds, I'm actually enjoying it! I kept meaning to go into more detail about the Bingo side of life, but I just spend SO much time with Bingo and related activities that I haven't gone much into detail.

B-i-n-g-o isn't the cute song you used to sing or game you played in class to win the cool #2 pencil. No sir-ee, it's a lifestyle. I kid you not when I say that most of the players at my hall* are there between 4 and 6 days a week, some even 7! I did an interview this past week with one of the players and found out that she Bingos about 5 days a week had a mental spending limit of $60/day. Ummm, can you say really nice mortgage?!?! She also travels to play the big pots, and big in this case is somewhere between $50K and $100K. But before you all jump off the couch to join her, it costs $380 to enter.

The game itself, however, is UBER fast-paced and quite challenging. I've been playing for a couple of months and have never had the guts to call Bingo because I'm so unsure of when I won. And no, you don't win with only 5 across, up or down. I even have myself a small collection of Dabbin' Fever Daubers, a bingo-ist's most important tool. And if you ever decide to find yourself a Bingo Hall, be warned, the rules of behavior are many and newcomers are noticed and unwelcome.

This has been an education unlike one I've never had and yes, all those papers that I've been writing this semester that I've complained about on this site, during which time many of you received ridiculous forwards in my attempts to avoid writing, were all about Bingo. Thank God the end is near though, I've had about all the bingo analysis I can take. So Hooray for only two more papers and a project,

* my research team picked Bingo Halls and each of us went to one Hall once a week for two months for data collection

DST

I'm always the one that either finds out about this just before bedtime the night before or I'm reeeeealy late to church. I found out 5 days in advance this year and there's no reason for us to all miss the fun, so ... everyone ... Spring Forward one hour this Saturday!

The wild days

This morning, Dr. J and I woke up with a sack of wheat hot dog buns on the floor in our bedroom, unopened but with a few scratchy places. Apparently this sack of wheat hot dog buns had visciously attacked our precious Professor during the night, from its normal resting place atop the refrigerator. I was actually more amazed that she hadn't actually had herself a wheat feast than that she had scaled a 10' fridge to rescue some wrongfully imprisoned bread. We've been very strict with the no human food with her, and it's really been paying off. Back in the day, we'd come home to Daisy lounging beer belly up with her paw in a sack of cheetos.

And I hate it when people eat my cheetos.

This hardly seems real

Get the kiddos out of the room. You don't want to be giving them any ideas.

READ.

This is probably one of those you-had-to-be-there-s

So a couple of weeks ago when Erika was here we went outlet mall shopping, like any good girls would do. We got a bit of a late start and swung by Panera for a little b-fast around 9 a.m. (I normally chug my target imitation slimfast shake around 6:30, so this was pretty late) sooooo ... about lunch time, we really weren't hungry, opted no lunch in exchange for more shop time. Clearly the way to go.

However, by the time we finally left the outlets it was a little after 4 and we were getting pretty hungry. As any decent outlet, it's located out in BFE (which isn't hard to come by here) so we had to drive to the next town to find a restuarant. Ever the good hostess, I stopped at the first IHOP available dreaming of loading up on the largest combination of breakfast food on the menu. I can't remember exactly what I ordered, but we got essentially the same thing: 2 eggs, sausage, bacon, hashbrowns, and 2 pancakes. Delish.

And I'll tell ya, those IHOPers, they get yer food to ya in a jiffy!

So we were talking as fast as we could eat, or eating as fast as we could talk, I don't really remember. Inhaling food as quickly as we did is much akin to being drunk (not that I would know, mom). A few shovel fulls into my hashbrown and eggs Erika warns me that I had egg (or something) on my chin. Frustrated for having to slow my eating, I slap it clean with a napkin, and proceed to devour plate #1 in three breaths. Plate #2, the pancakes, were saved for last.

I wish I could say I started to slow down, except that halfway through the slaughtering, Erika stops in mid-sentence long enough to say, "Missy. Now you've got syrup dripping from your hair."

I can't even write that without bursting into fitful tears of laughter. The best part is that there are a handful of you that read this that have probably preached something similiar to me in the past. I think I would have eaten with as much etiquitte if the waitress had just brought us a trough.

I don't think I've laughed that hard since Jr. High. You'll be happy to know that the laughing and cleaning slowed me down enough to make me realize that, indeed, I was actually full.

To my faithful readers, both of you

I do apologize for not posting much. I can't decide if I should hang onto this thing or not. On the one hand, it gives my friends a place to know what's going on with me and feel as though they never have to email me back, on the other hand, I've been so busy lately that it's hard to keep up. I have a long list of excuses lined up behind me - I've even had a ton of things I wanted to post, but never the time. Sigh.

So, does anyone know anything about planting grass? We are going to go the seed route and not the sod route, and we are definitely looking for advice, we are getting conflicting information. Oh, and I pulled weeds all day Saturday and my body is in screaming pain. By "all day" I do mean for about 8 hours. Pulling. Yes, there were that many weeds. Hence the need for some grass.

this doesn't make me a basketball fan, but i do love the ags!!

I was listening to NPR this morning and I hear something about Texas A&M on the radio ... any mention of Aggieland within earshot of me makes me perk up. I ask Dr. J what they said, and he says something about them winning a basketball game.

Whaa?

Texas A&M is in the NCAA tournament?!?

How do I not know this? Granted, I'm not what you might call a basketball enthusiast, I consider the winter months and early spring as the break between football and baseball. Maybe it's because I grew up in Dallas in the age where you couldn't pay people to go to a Mavericks game (I remember a joke about someone's car getting broken into where someone left a pair of Maverick tickets on their dash) and the pale skinned, vertically challenged Aggies that composed our basketball team while I attended was supported, they are Aggies after all, but they definitely weren't considered a serious competitor, more like an excuse to go somewhere with that cute guy in Chem Class. While I was in the Midwest, I was often accosted by people with attacks that the Aggies had lost so Ha! Ha!! And I'm all, it's February, you mean like women's rugby? And there's certainly no way I'd get news here beyond how Carolina and Clemson are doing unless I go hunt it down myself and like I said, it's March, so why would I?

So, way to go Ags!! Way to surprise the hell outta this Aggie!! Good luck in the tourney!!!

Let's ... go to ... the movies!! (pauses to emphasize the tune of the Annie song)

CNN has an article that says,

Theater operators who have felt the pinch of a lingering decline in movie business have a ready solution to turn things around: Studios need to make better films.

Seeeee ... now I was under the impression that recycled plots were sufficient as long as the explosions were more extravagant. Better films. What a novel idea! Do you thinik they will actually hire screenwriters instead of just modifying character names, throwing in an extra sex scene, and adding a white knuckle car chase that just barely misses colliding with an infant's stroller?* Now there's a reason to buy the large popcorn.

*Spiderman III, IV, V, VI, VII, and VIII are excluded from these accusations.

Somoa S.O.S.

I'm seeing on other's blogs that it's Girl Scout Cookie time, but I have yet to see any of these alleged Girl Scouts out and about here in ColUmbia. My experience living between two states tells me that they sell them at different times of the year, depending on where you are ... but how do I find out?! I don't even want to imagine a year without the Peanut Butter Sandwiches or Somoas!!!!

Help!?! What am I to do?

What an Uber Fantastic Weekend!!

Friend visit this weekend was FAAAAAAAAN-TASTICO! Lots of laughs, a perfectly ridiculous Oscar night (preceeded by the dyeing of my hair), tons of shopping and I have one great story that I'll have to share later because I'm feeling vomit-ous, a word I'd like to coin because it exactly describes how I feel right now. Hopefully a few hours with The Girls can make me come around. I think I'll be picking up some saltines and chicken soup on the way home.

I don't know if this means I'm tired or old

I am working way more than I can stand these days, but the end is drawing near which is pretty much the only reason I'm not in panicking because I truly think the source of the problem is that I'm WORKING TOO MUCH! Anyway, but as of two days ago, I realized that my headache-ieness was probably due to the fact that I was seeing double in my right eye and then yesterday, unable to read with my glasses on out of my right eye and then today, can't make out any of the letters on the computer screen (much less my books) ... with my glasses on!! I'm hoping all this will remedy itself once I'm done with all this work but in the meantime my left eye ... my good eye, the one with the 6.00 prescription is working just swimmingly. So hang in there leftie! I need you to get me through this week! Plus, I've had to go back on my no caffeine/acids diet and it is horribly troublesome to not be able to have coffee this week. Oh and tomorrow is my 6 hour round trip in a bus with 200 6th graders. YEA!!

39 years of schooling between the two of us, and not much to show for it ...

So Saturday night Dr. J and I were at the grocery store - that's right, I said Saturday night. No, I swear we're still fun even though all we do is work or watch 24 re-runs and go to the grocery store on Saturday night.

Anyhoo ... so we are checking out at the self checkout line at the grocery store. You know, the one where you scan and bag yourself. Very convenient, if I say so myself. Never been much of a lets-become-best-friends-with-the-checker-at-the-grocery-store and yet I always still feel guilty for just standing there and not saying anything. So we're there, at the You-Scan that's furthest from where the Self-Scan-Superintendent is, and there is pretty much no one else at the grocery store, except us and her, because, like I said before, it's Saturday night.

So we are scanning our food and we come to an de-barcoded bag of green onions. So I, routinely, push the button that says No Bar Code and wait for the pretty pictures of all of the popular produce to appear. But none does. And after about 20 seconds of no pictures appearing, all of the sudden, the Self-Scan-Machine says, "green onions ... $0.70". Dr. J and I just turn to each other and are like, wow ... how did it know it was green onions. So I'm all ... hey! grab the green beans! let's see if it can tell that it's green beans! And Dr. J enthusiastically puts the green beans on the scanner and hits the No Bar Code button. And wallah! It says, "Green beans ... $0.whatever!" We both roar back with hands flailing and shout WoW! Dr. J is, as any good professor should be, examining as to whether the machine could be deciphering the density of the vegetables as I run to get the tomatoes.

And then. Dr. J looks over to see that devilish little Self-Scan-Supervisor standing a mere 15 from our checkout station. And it became, embarrassingly, all too clear.

Sorry, couldn't keep it from you guys

The topic of 6th grade science this week was on fungi and related entities, one such entity being yeast. With the mere mention of the word, one of the boys in the back stood up and said, "My mom is always saying she has a yeast infection, is that the same fungus that's in the bread?"

I try not to exploit my 6th graders, but this one is just too funny. Unfortunately for his mother, she works at the school with us and, well, news like this travels fast. I'm sure this one will sort of be remembered in his family like the time that my mom looked down from the church chior only to see her son staring back at her from a viewfinder/tampon applicator that he found in her purse.

New Mommeeeeeee!!

As of Sunday, Marfeld is the proud mommy of Marshall James, who weighed in at 9 lbs, 7 oz. I know, it's hard to believe that little lady could have toted him around. And worse to think she only gained 27 lbs with that big boy floppin' around in there!

No pics yet since she is still in the hospital, but they will come soon enough.

Congratulations my little honey bunches of oats!!

Pride, pride and more pride

I have spent LOTS of time lately working at home, I am distracted less there since La Casa only has dial-up and it's much more difficult to browse the Sale sections of my favorite retailers. However, I often find that I just get up, make some coffee and start working, without even a nod towards a shower or a toothbrush. Sometimes those things happen at lunch, sometimes they happen after CSI. One might think I'd have a little more self-respect, but you'd be wrong.

However, we have had many a phone problem since we moved in and the phone guy has had to come to our house about once a week. I am utterly mortified when I have to answer my front door at 1:30 p.m., still in my pjs with hair that has visibly been given no consideration. The sad thing is that I'm more mortified because I am afraid he's going to think I'm unemployed, rather than that he might think I have poor hygiene. I have found myself explaining to the mailman, the phone guy, the UPS driver, and a 75 year-old woman that stopped by to welcome us to the neighborhood that I indeed, work from home, and despite the fact that you caught me on my break watching Oprah, I don't sit around all day watching TV. I'm sure my shouts of I swear I have a job! as they fled back to their vehicles of choice was not only effective, but certainly advanced their opinion of the Crazy-Cat-Lady-in-The-House-On-The-Corner.

Good Morning, Monday ... a little smile from my mommy to you

Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very, very dark, so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-year-old girl, to hold a flashlight high over her Mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and pushed, and after a little while Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry.

The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-year old what she thought about what she had just witnessed. Kathleen quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place......... smack his bottom again."

Nuttin, honey

Yes, I seem to only be able to post M-W ... the load should lighten soon enough, my long lost friends. And for those of you that are having a baby next week, I miss you tons and I'm so sad that I'm not there to get to bring you CheezBalls to the hospital because, c'mon, who really wants flowers when you can have CheezBalls!?

Last week I built 16 - 9" high Trebuchets. I was a HIT! Two days of assorted marshmallows and jelly beans of all shapes and sizes flying in every possible direction. Yes, it was as stressful as it sounds. And a mere two weeks from tomorrow, I will be accompanying no less than 200 6th graders on a three hour school bus trip to Medieval Times in Myrtle Beach! I only wish I were joking!

No, I won't tell you what the difference in a trebuchet and a catapult is. Do your own research.

Home Sweet Home

Little Waxahachie reaches once again attains national fame by astounding means.

Here's the text for those of you that couldn't open the page...

When you're throwing your pot out of your car window, remember the wind effect.

Wildflowers may not be the only thing sprouting up along a 15-mile stretch of Interstate 35 in Ellis County this spring.

Seeds of an illegal plant were inadvertently sown after a police officer stopped a car with no license plate light early Friday morning and smelled a strong odor of marijuana. When the officer returned to his car and called for backup, the driver drove away, Milford Police Chief Carlos Phoenix said.

As several law enforcement agencies joined the chase, the fleeing driver tore open and threw 17 to 19 bags out of his window. "There was marijuana flying everywhere," Phoenix told the Waxahachie Daily Light.

After driving over a second set of spikes set out by authorities, the suspect finally stopped and was taken into custody, and he was "literally covered in marijuana," Phoenix said.

Officers picked up two duffel bags, a backpack and three or four gallon-size freezer bags from the interstate, but the wind blew much of the substance and seeds, Phoenix said.

How does that saying go? A stye in the eye is worth two in the ... something something

On Monday, whilst working diligently on my paper at home, I stood up, tried to unplug my jumpdrive from the back of the computer and brushed the desklamp with the side of my neck. The ENORMOUS burn that it left in it's wake makes me think that this was probably one of our less-than-quality purchases. Yes, it most definitely looks like a hickey but the pain it inflicts reminds me otherwise.

Additionally, I got a stye in my left eye on Monday night and by Tuesday morning, it was pretty painful and swollen. Had I not had a paper due today, I would have tried to sleep all day. But then today I would have been sad because I slept all day yesterday because now I have a stye in my left and right eye. And there is much work to be done and no real time to slow down, but oh! how I wish to go home and close my eyes and not look at anything else today. Unfortunately I have class until 8 pm.

Sniff.

I miss exams!

I am currently being forced to subject myself to the most unnatural thing possible ... writing a subjective paper. UGH! Give me a book of math problems or sit me down and tell me to read a physics text book cover to cover (not biology though ... that stuff bores the poop right out of me). But this narrative, subjective, philosophical-in-nature-sort-of-thing comes out sounding WAY to similar to a blog post which I am certain my Prof is not looking for. Blick! I can't go 5 minutes without screaming to Professor McGonagal how much I HATE THIS!!! HATE!

HATE!

I'm a few pages away from a rough draft and it's due tomorrow.

HATE!

AND we don't have any exams in this class, only papers and this one's the shortest by about 10 pages.

HATE HATE!

I think when I finish my paper I'll console myslef with an episode of The Girls before I move onto more studying.

Bingo is my Thing-o

In case that was you calling me last night around 5:30 pm, I was busy gettin' my Bingo groove on, as I will be from 5:30 to 6:30 pm every Tuesday night this entire semester.

dis ain't yer sistas bingo ... SNAP!

I was 12 the last time that I was this unprepared

Lump me in with the group of people that didn't see any of the movies nominated for pretty much everything in the Oscars (yes I know that's the majority, but I'm not usually in it, I'm comfortable in the minority). I have had a rotating list of Must-Sees that we Never-Saw and they are ALL on here. We even rented some and never watched them.

Sad.

I'm living somewhere between 2000 and 2002, I think

So since Dr. J decided to go out of town for five days, I decided to start up The Gilmore Girls Season 1, which I had borrowed from a friend. I indulged in way too many days of that and once Dr. J returned, we've been catching up on all the Season 2 Episodes of 24 that TiVo'd while I was out with The Girls. I know I'm way late on both these bandwagons, and I have no one to vent my frustration with about how oblivious Laureli is to Luke's interest because everyone else is literally years ahead of me. It does calm me down to know that L.A. is not going to be melted by a nuclear bomb since I have definitely seen Jack, Tony and the gang in random Day 4 episodes. Helps me sleep better.

Misc.

I'm so behind on my blog reading! I doubt this is something I should be ashamed of, but I certainly do miss them. It's been all I can do to squeeze in half of the first season of the Gilmore Girls - whew!

I'm also looking forward to seeing this outcome. Those guys apparently need some time in a private, perhaps barred, room to see the error of their ways.

On other news my former St. Louis surrogate mother (aka, my friend that had the graciousness to let me live with her for a month) is coming to see me, not-so-coincidently on the weekend of the Oscars!! There will be much tiara and feather boa wearing to accompany whatever snooty appetizers we can muster. My friends here in Columbia are in for a serious awakening of my need to be shallow and mock others.

Tissue anyone?

I’m not sure what her initial goal was, but right now, the lower half of Professor McGonagall’s body is protruding from an almost empty Kleenex box. Something tells me those last tissues aren’t really going to be up to the job after she emerges. She’s also started doing this thing lately where she walks around with about one-quarter inch of her tiny little tongue poking out between her lips. It’s the cutest thing ever. I’m on a mission to get a photo.

Back!

I've tunneled my way through to victory! Well, that's probably a bit of an overstatement, but I at least have part of my days back to myself. Sadly, Dr. J is out-of-town and I have to celebrate alone. Even more sad is the fact that Columbia, South Carolina does not carry CheezBalls in ANY OF THE GROCERY OR CONVENIENT STORES and how is a girl to celebrate without CHEEZBALLS!?!?

I have been looking for months in every store I go into and I've finally reconciled with that fact, but it doesn't make it any easier to swallow. This past weekend would have been a perfect weekend to curl with with a canister of cheezballs and watch a movie, but alas, it was not to be. Any of you that feel like UPS-ing me a crate or two, we're BFFEs.

More to come, but not now

It's a never-ending world of turmoil in la casa, things never stop-a changin'!

Panic ensued since I returned from Christmas Vacay to find myself buried under mountains of work. I'm slowly tunneling my way out and hope to see you all on the other side soon enough...

Home Beauty Shop

The weekend was full of not-as-much-work as it should have been but yet way-more-errands-than-imagined. Blick.

The Professor is now free of her post-op stitches, has a new manicure, and got her first full bath yesterday. Amazinly, she liked the warm water being poured over her, but shrieked with pain at the in-between times and the soaping-down when she shivered miserably. It was almost too much for my little heart to take. I certainly couldn't let her dry her little shaking body without some intervention, so I gave the hair dryer on a low setting a go. Although, she was quite obviously afraid at first, she gave it a chance since it was, at least, better than the cruel 70 degree room temperature, and it was only a matter of time before she was rotating so I could get her other side and ultimately, holding up her back leg for me to expose her wet underside.

What a cutie!

Dance to the Rhythm

YES!!!

Two of my favorite things will be colliding on March 5th.

So do YOU know how to do it?

In the past, I have failed to include what I like to call Paige Stories. No one to blame but myself, but you guys are overdue for an intro to the fun. Paige has a way of saying exactly what everyone else is thinking, but she can get away with it because 1) she was raised by my family (see below post) and 2) she's mentally handicapped.

For example. You have that friend that talks all the way through the movies at the theater, no matter how tense the movie is, or how involved you might be. You are probably obligated to maybe nod politely, or attempt in vain to ignore her. However, Paige's options are considerably more open in this same situation in one smooth motion, Paige will turn directly to her and say, "TRY TO LISTEN". In similar circumstances, when maybe your Grandmother is becoming a little overly advice-ey when perhaps, your vehicle is stuck in the mud and snow out in the Texas Panhandle and you have little option for getting it out since there are, of course, bovines blocking your only path, Paige will gladly verbalize, "Grandmother stop talking".

I loved those two days.

Anyway, so I was home having lunch with my mom and sister and we were discussing the details of the Afternoon Popcorn (the girl needs a plan to hold on to and Afternoon Popcorn is part of The Routine).

Mom: Missy can probably make the popcorn for you later.

[Paige lets out a small burp]

Mom: Paige, please cover your mouth

[Paige covers her mouth]

Mom: No, please cover your mouth before you burp

Me: Dr. J and I are working on the exact same thing at the Casa, but for me, not him

Paige [to Missy]: Do you know how to do it?

Me: Yes, of course

[Missy takes a napkin from the table, places it over her mouth, and forces a dainty little BUUUURP behind the napkin]

Me: Now you try.

[Paige mimics the taking of the napkin, the placing of it over her mouth, and the even more dainty BLURRRRRRRRRRRP behind the napkin]

Paige: So do you know how to make the popcorn?

Introducing Professor McGonagall

Whom you are free to refer to as simply Professor or Mona, but please, upon introduction, use her christian name.



Here we see The Professor in all her might, defeating her most hated enemy, George the Mouse. Many of The Professor's enemies (aka playthings) are rejected hand-me downs from the I'm-above-such-childish-things-predecessor, Daisy. The Professor doesn't mind how long the enemies have haunted our home, so long as it is the desire of the Big Cats for her to defeat them.



The Professor has not yet conjured a strategy for defeating The Evil Vacuum, and the fact that she was forced to retreat behind the Guest Pillows is utterly humiliating for her. She won't accept this sort of imposed humiliation and has resolved to learn more about The Vacuum. Below you can see she and Dr. J doing some afternoon net reserach so she has a slight hand up in the event that Vacuum emerges. She fully expects to be on the defensive, until she has considerably more time to learn the ways of such a threatening foe.