In the past, I have failed to include what I like to call Paige Stories. No one to blame but myself, but you guys are overdue for an intro to the fun. Paige has a way of saying exactly what everyone else is thinking, but she can get away with it because 1) she was raised by my family (see below post) and 2) she's mentally handicapped.
For example. You have that friend that talks all the way through the movies at the theater, no matter how tense the movie is, or how involved you might be. You are probably obligated to maybe nod politely, or attempt in vain to ignore her. However, Paige's options are considerably more open in this same situation in one smooth motion, Paige will turn directly to her and say, "TRY TO LISTEN". In similar circumstances, when maybe your Grandmother is becoming a little overly advice-ey when perhaps, your vehicle is stuck in the mud and snow out in the Texas Panhandle and you have little option for getting it out since there are, of course, bovines blocking your only path, Paige will gladly verbalize, "Grandmother stop talking".
I loved those two days.
Anyway, so I was home having lunch with my mom and sister and we were discussing the details of the Afternoon Popcorn (the girl needs a plan to hold on to and Afternoon Popcorn is part of The Routine).
Mom: Missy can probably make the popcorn for you later.
[Paige lets out a small burp]
Mom: Paige, please cover your mouth
[Paige covers her mouth]
Mom: No, please cover your mouth before you burp
Me: Dr. J and I are working on the exact same thing at the Casa, but for me, not him
Paige [to Missy]: Do you know how to do it?
Me: Yes, of course
[Missy takes a napkin from the table, places it over her mouth, and forces a dainty little BUUUURP behind the napkin]
Me: Now you try.
[Paige mimics the taking of the napkin, the placing of it over her mouth, and the even more dainty BLURRRRRRRRRRRP behind the napkin]
Paige: So do you know how to make the popcorn?
Moving Forward vs. Moving On
2 months ago