Tuesday, February 28, 2006

39 years of schooling between the two of us, and not much to show for it ...

So Saturday night Dr. J and I were at the grocery store - that's right, I said Saturday night. No, I swear we're still fun even though all we do is work or watch 24 re-runs and go to the grocery store on Saturday night.

Anyhoo ... so we are checking out at the self checkout line at the grocery store. You know, the one where you scan and bag yourself. Very convenient, if I say so myself. Never been much of a lets-become-best-friends-with-the-checker-at-the-grocery-store and yet I always still feel guilty for just standing there and not saying anything. So we're there, at the You-Scan that's furthest from where the Self-Scan-Superintendent is, and there is pretty much no one else at the grocery store, except us and her, because, like I said before, it's Saturday night.

So we are scanning our food and we come to an de-barcoded bag of green onions. So I, routinely, push the button that says No Bar Code and wait for the pretty pictures of all of the popular produce to appear. But none does. And after about 20 seconds of no pictures appearing, all of the sudden, the Self-Scan-Machine says, "green onions ... $0.70". Dr. J and I just turn to each other and are like, wow ... how did it know it was green onions. So I'm all ... hey! grab the green beans! let's see if it can tell that it's green beans! And Dr. J enthusiastically puts the green beans on the scanner and hits the No Bar Code button. And wallah! It says, "Green beans ... $0.whatever!" We both roar back with hands flailing and shout WoW! Dr. J is, as any good professor should be, examining as to whether the machine could be deciphering the density of the vegetables as I run to get the tomatoes.

And then. Dr. J looks over to see that devilish little Self-Scan-Supervisor standing a mere 15 from our checkout station. And it became, embarrassingly, all too clear.

Friday, February 24, 2006

Sorry, couldn't keep it from you guys

The topic of 6th grade science this week was on fungi and related entities, one such entity being yeast. With the mere mention of the word, one of the boys in the back stood up and said, "My mom is always saying she has a yeast infection, is that the same fungus that's in the bread?"

I try not to exploit my 6th graders, but this one is just too funny. Unfortunately for his mother, she works at the school with us and, well, news like this travels fast. I'm sure this one will sort of be remembered in his family like the time that my mom looked down from the church chior only to see her son staring back at her from a viewfinder/tampon applicator that he found in her purse.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

New Mommeeeeeee!!

As of Sunday, Marfeld is the proud mommy of Marshall James, who weighed in at 9 lbs, 7 oz. I know, it's hard to believe that little lady could have toted him around. And worse to think she only gained 27 lbs with that big boy floppin' around in there!

No pics yet since she is still in the hospital, but they will come soon enough.

Congratulations my little honey bunches of oats!!

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Pride, pride and more pride

I have spent LOTS of time lately working at home, I am distracted less there since La Casa only has dial-up and it's much more difficult to browse the Sale sections of my favorite retailers. However, I often find that I just get up, make some coffee and start working, without even a nod towards a shower or a toothbrush. Sometimes those things happen at lunch, sometimes they happen after CSI. One might think I'd have a little more self-respect, but you'd be wrong.

However, we have had many a phone problem since we moved in and the phone guy has had to come to our house about once a week. I am utterly mortified when I have to answer my front door at 1:30 p.m., still in my pjs with hair that has visibly been given no consideration. The sad thing is that I'm more mortified because I am afraid he's going to think I'm unemployed, rather than that he might think I have poor hygiene. I have found myself explaining to the mailman, the phone guy, the UPS driver, and a 75 year-old woman that stopped by to welcome us to the neighborhood that I indeed, work from home, and despite the fact that you caught me on my break watching Oprah, I don't sit around all day watching TV. I'm sure my shouts of I swear I have a job! as they fled back to their vehicles of choice was not only effective, but certainly advanced their opinion of the Crazy-Cat-Lady-in-The-House-On-The-Corner.

Monday, February 20, 2006

Good Morning, Monday ... a little smile from my mommy to you

Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very, very dark, so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-year-old girl, to hold a flashlight high over her Mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and pushed, and after a little while Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry.

The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-year old what she thought about what she had just witnessed. Kathleen quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place......... smack his bottom again."

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Nuttin, honey

Yes, I seem to only be able to post M-W ... the load should lighten soon enough, my long lost friends. And for those of you that are having a baby next week, I miss you tons and I'm so sad that I'm not there to get to bring you CheezBalls to the hospital because, c'mon, who really wants flowers when you can have CheezBalls!?

Last week I built 16 - 9" high Trebuchets. I was a HIT! Two days of assorted marshmallows and jelly beans of all shapes and sizes flying in every possible direction. Yes, it was as stressful as it sounds. And a mere two weeks from tomorrow, I will be accompanying no less than 200 6th graders on a three hour school bus trip to Medieval Times in Myrtle Beach! I only wish I were joking!

No, I won't tell you what the difference in a trebuchet and a catapult is. Do your own research.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Home Sweet Home

Little Waxahachie reaches once again attains national fame by astounding means.

Here's the text for those of you that couldn't open the page...

When you're throwing your pot out of your car window, remember the wind effect.

Wildflowers may not be the only thing sprouting up along a 15-mile stretch of Interstate 35 in Ellis County this spring.

Seeds of an illegal plant were inadvertently sown after a police officer stopped a car with no license plate light early Friday morning and smelled a strong odor of marijuana. When the officer returned to his car and called for backup, the driver drove away, Milford Police Chief Carlos Phoenix said.

As several law enforcement agencies joined the chase, the fleeing driver tore open and threw 17 to 19 bags out of his window. "There was marijuana flying everywhere," Phoenix told the Waxahachie Daily Light.

After driving over a second set of spikes set out by authorities, the suspect finally stopped and was taken into custody, and he was "literally covered in marijuana," Phoenix said.

Officers picked up two duffel bags, a backpack and three or four gallon-size freezer bags from the interstate, but the wind blew much of the substance and seeds, Phoenix said.

How does that saying go? A stye in the eye is worth two in the ... something something

On Monday, whilst working diligently on my paper at home, I stood up, tried to unplug my jumpdrive from the back of the computer and brushed the desklamp with the side of my neck. The ENORMOUS burn that it left in it's wake makes me think that this was probably one of our less-than-quality purchases. Yes, it most definitely looks like a hickey but the pain it inflicts reminds me otherwise.

Additionally, I got a stye in my left eye on Monday night and by Tuesday morning, it was pretty painful and swollen. Had I not had a paper due today, I would have tried to sleep all day. But then today I would have been sad because I slept all day yesterday because now I have a stye in my left and right eye. And there is much work to be done and no real time to slow down, but oh! how I wish to go home and close my eyes and not look at anything else today. Unfortunately I have class until 8 pm.


Tuesday, February 07, 2006

I miss exams!

I am currently being forced to subject myself to the most unnatural thing possible ... writing a subjective paper. UGH! Give me a book of math problems or sit me down and tell me to read a physics text book cover to cover (not biology though ... that stuff bores the poop right out of me). But this narrative, subjective, philosophical-in-nature-sort-of-thing comes out sounding WAY to similar to a blog post which I am certain my Prof is not looking for. Blick! I can't go 5 minutes without screaming to Professor McGonagal how much I HATE THIS!!! HATE!


I'm a few pages away from a rough draft and it's due tomorrow.


AND we don't have any exams in this class, only papers and this one's the shortest by about 10 pages.


I think when I finish my paper I'll console myslef with an episode of The Girls before I move onto more studying.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Bingo is my Thing-o

In case that was you calling me last night around 5:30 pm, I was busy gettin' my Bingo groove on, as I will be from 5:30 to 6:30 pm every Tuesday night this entire semester.

dis ain't yer sistas bingo ... SNAP!