Ahhh Christmas

So I was talking to mom today and she's definitely working the weak, invalid, post-surgery angle. She plumb wore herself out today with online shopping. Apparently her shoulder was exhausted from all the computer usage. How cute is that :) Thankfully an order she placed a couple of days ago came in, to give her a little material comfort in her time of need.

Me: [Being dutifully supportive] So what do your new sweaters look like?

Mom: I wanted to get a new Christmas sweater that didn't scream Christmas

Me: [sighing of relief and remembering the sweatshirt with the reindeer whose antlers were tangled with Christmas lights that I wore through middle school] Nice.

Mom: It's green and it has these trees on it

Me: MOM! Trees?? What on earth? How does that not scream Christmas?

Mom: They aren't bad, I promise! And there's a bear .... [interrupted]

Me: MOM!!! A BEAR?!?! For the love of God, you bought a sweater with trees and a bear and that doesn't scream Christmas?

Mom: It's not like a "teacher bear" (somehow implying that there is such a thing as a non-teacher bear outside of collegiate gear)

Me: Yes because there are good bear appliques and bad bear appliques

Mom: It's really not bad you can barely see him peeking through the trees.

Me: [Dial-tone]

And my mother wonders to this day why I didn't go shopping until I was in my twenties. I mean, what was really the point if even the non-screaming attire were iron-ons. I guess when she said it doesn't scream, she meant in the literal sense.