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Nothing was stolen. Our brilliant plan to hang onto the hand-me-down TV has finally paid off! Well, I guess I would really like it to pay for the damage to the wall and the door frame that was split in half, but that's probably asking too much. Nothing stood in the way of the would-be burglar on Friday except that perhaps our collection of electronics was a bit disappointing for his pawn-shop-resale taste. Dr. J got a call from the security company saying the alarm went off and were we at home. He then called me to find out what I had done. As likely as it is for me to leave a door ajar or something equally ridiculous, this time, I didn't do a thing and had only been gone for about 15 minutes. Dr. J raced home only to find a couple of Columbia's finest sneaking their way into our house, guns drawn. Way to go, blue.

That was almost one month exactly after the surgery. I'm just holding my breath for the festivities at the end of April. With any hope, maybe we can drain our entire savings in a single year.

GRRRRRR ....

Will someone explain to me what was going through my head when I scheduled a dentist appointment for 7 am in the middle of spring break?!!??

Nmmeeph?

Rachel, there's still a tag on the bottom of that cute pump you were wearing. The right one.

I meant to tell you right after class except I was distracted by the oldest woman on the planet.

I say this because a) Rachel doesn't embarrass easily and knows how to laugh at herself. And at me. Thank God. You can only have so squares in your life and I max out around 2. What's so great about being perfect anyway, I ask you? b) It's important that friends are the ones that tell you when you have spinach between your teeth, your shirt on backwards, your fly undone ... there is nothing worse that helping give directions to someone that pulls up in your driveway lost only to have that person tell you that you have a booger hanging out your nose. And then tell you that you didn't get it. You still didn't get it. And then just back out of your driveway.

You can't even make stuff like this up!

Let your minds' eye travel with me to ... Easter Sunday ...

Sunday school class. Nothing special other than our teacher was doing a creative number with discussing the resurrection story of Christ ... our Lord ... what the ... ???

Enter 9 hundred and 32 year old woman, barely 5 ft tall. Shaking and feeble. Literally enter. As my class of 30 or so young marrieds has our heads to our teacher, an elderly woman at death's door sneaks into our classroom and gums a few Bisquick sausage balls from the Snack Station. I really don't know how I even saw the quiet little mouse. As quickly ... maybe sluggishly is a better adverb ... as she came, she left, but not until she nestled a handful of sausage balls into a napkin to go.

I had the worst church giggles of my life. At least of my adult life. Dr. J's elbow jabbing didn't help things, nor did the two or three other people that also witnessed the mischievous thievery. Thank goodness I already knew how the story ended.

Another step of me morphing into my mother

Mom always called me during the workday just to chat whenever she was on spring break / summer / whatever teacher holiday she got that I didn't get. And she would just ramble on about the fish in the pond that dad accidentally killed, again ... or tell me that she was going to go to the grocery store ... or or that she saw a car she didn't recognize drive by the house - twice. All while I'm trying to politely squeeze into her ramblings to find out if she needed to speak to me because I was, of course, working.

Anyway, today is the first day of my spring break. I could have an accident with a kitchen knife a little later today and I'd still be grinning ear-to-ear. But I just picked up the phone to call a friend in California that I haven't talked to in months.

1. She works.
2. Like I said, she's in California, and it was only 5:30 a.m. PST

What? I'm up.

The Hardest Part about Teaching

I have to be an adult all day long. Seriously.

And then the moment the students leave and another teacher comes in I turn into a sophomoric idiot. Ironically, it seems that the more mature my kids are, the less mature I become, whipping out ridiculous puns and slapstick routines like there's no tomorrow. I mean, there really must be balance.

Potterwatch.

I sent most of you an email about this yesterday. In case you didn't hear, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is going to be split into 2 parts.

I'm going to come back to this. Right now I want to cry.

Volunteer Teaching

This is my new term for when I come into work for a full day on my day off. Except that I goofed around on iTunes for a full hour first. And sent a dozen unneccesary emails ... and oh wait, now I'm blogging. In any case, today we are out of school, next Friday we are out, and the following week is Spring Break! And I'm taking a full 24 hours to go shopping in Charlotte plus my dad is going to visit for 4 days!!!! Don't think for a second that teachers get all the breaks because I work most nights and weekends. So suck it. It beats last year's work pace, but still ... exhausting.

I'm so excited that Ms. Pettigrew Lives for a Day is out! Frances McDormand is the greatest of the greats. This is definitely a popcorn and soda movie.

Alright, back to grading.

Dreamweaver

1. About two weeks ago I dreamed that I was scolding my brother for wearing "too much eyeliner!" I remember that I was outrageously perturbed by the amount, not the fact that there was eyeliner on his face.

2. Last night I dreamed that I was at my friend Allison's wedding (that I attended .... err ... almost 4 years ago) but that she and her husband were wearing these heavy black drape-like body suits. I know that it doesn't seem like drapes can be body suits, but they can in dreams, and the bottom half had a stripey black velvet around the straight skirt portion. i know, right? And then as they were doing their vows, their stage hands switched out the straight skirt for these larger crimson velvet hoop skirts, but they kept the black body suits on top. Yes, they. As they broke out into choreographed dance like marionettes. This is where I started to wake up a little ...

I don't even know where to begin explaining that away. It is very windy outside though.