Saturday, May 29, 2010

A new level of manipulation

Because this is my story and my life, it truly was impossible to imagine that all would go down without incident. True to life's gentle promises, we had a bit of a snafu Friday at closing.

The (now) former owners of the house tried to scrape every last penny from us that they could in the last few weeks. When we did the walkthrough before closing on Friday and the owner was there, we were less than thrilled. At one point when dr. J left me alone, she let me know that she had left a baby gate in the garage if we were interested. I was, but I almost told her to just toss it, assuming this would somehow end up on our final bill.

Fast forward a few hours to closing. Dr. J and I are signing a smorgasboard of paperwork with our realtor M and attorney. M notices that the owners have arrived so he goes to greet them and let them know we will be done shortly. But he come back with this odd smirk on his face. The owner told M that it was against their religion to do a cash transaction on Fridays. however, they can make an exception if we give them $5. Dr. J is deep in conversation with the attorney when M tells me this, and I completely lose all sense of professionalism and church giggle uncontrollably for the next 10 ish minutes.

Here are my thoughts, in no particular order:

- does his religion also prohibit them from notifying people of their religious restrictions on cash transactions in advance?
- how is this even their transaction, we are the buyers!
- ok so the religion permits sets of transactions. One was bad but two is good?

M and I scrape together $4.25 between the two of us, both believing that it is much more likely that we are funding their gas money than anything else. Dr J. finally notices my irrational snickering, so I go ahead and ask him if he has 75 cents. He doesn't even let me finish my question before he cuts me off, tells me he doesn't even want to know what is going on, fishes a buck from his wallet and tosses it to me like I was a pole dancer.

I can't say I've done heavy investigating on the matter but after about ten minutes of googles, my searches for religious prohibition of cash transactions on Friday proved fruitless. We have both resigned ourselves to the belief that we did, indeed, pay for a baby gate. Since M pitched in $2, we are calling it M's gate. Thanks man.


Wynn Anne said...

I have never heard of such a thing - it simply defies logic. Church giggling is appropriate.

Tina said...

Truly the most outlandish thing I have ever heard. How could they have not felt like total a-holes???

You guys were good to have picked your battles. I would have lost it on them.

Erika said...

Really, they asked for FIVE dollars. If they were trying to milk it they should have asked for it in pennies. What IS this!

Courtney said...

Hilarious! You should have told them you needed a receipt since it was part of your home-buying transaction. ;) We've learned that's a great way to get people to knock off the bribery, both at home and abroad.