I used the phrase "stuff your bra" in a faculty presentation today

How many of you can say that?

I feel as though I have officially shed the last of my shell that I lived in until 7th grade. Who knew that someday that fragile little bumpkin would be brave enough to speak in front of a crowd, let alone make a public poke about stuffing your bra with recycleable materials on Green Day? Ok ... so it was funnier in person. And yeah, that's what it was about.

I didn't say it was a good joke.

Accepting donations

Nothing was stolen. Our brilliant plan to hang onto the hand-me-down TV has finally paid off! Well, I guess I would really like it to pay for the damage to the wall and the door frame that was split in half, but that's probably asking too much. Nothing stood in the way of the would-be burglar on Friday except that perhaps our collection of electronics was a bit disappointing for his pawn-shop-resale taste. Dr. J got a call from the security company saying the alarm went off and were we at home. He then called me to find out what I had done. As likely as it is for me to leave a door ajar or something equally ridiculous, this time, I didn't do a thing and had only been gone for about 15 minutes. Dr. J raced home only to find a couple of Columbia's finest sneaking their way into our house, guns drawn. Way to go, blue.

That was almost one month exactly after the surgery. I'm just holding my breath for the festivities at the end of April. With any hope, maybe we can drain our entire savings in a single year.

GRRRRRR ....

Will someone explain to me what was going through my head when I scheduled a dentist appointment for 7 am in the middle of spring break?!!??

Nmmeeph?

Rachel, there's still a tag on the bottom of that cute pump you were wearing. The right one.

I meant to tell you right after class except I was distracted by the oldest woman on the planet.

I say this because a) Rachel doesn't embarrass easily and knows how to laugh at herself. And at me. Thank God. You can only have so squares in your life and I max out around 2. What's so great about being perfect anyway, I ask you? b) It's important that friends are the ones that tell you when you have spinach between your teeth, your shirt on backwards, your fly undone ... there is nothing worse that helping give directions to someone that pulls up in your driveway lost only to have that person tell you that you have a booger hanging out your nose. And then tell you that you didn't get it. You still didn't get it. And then just back out of your driveway.

You can't even make stuff like this up!

Let your minds' eye travel with me to ... Easter Sunday ...

Sunday school class. Nothing special other than our teacher was doing a creative number with discussing the resurrection story of Christ ... our Lord ... what the ... ???

Enter 9 hundred and 32 year old woman, barely 5 ft tall. Shaking and feeble. Literally enter. As my class of 30 or so young marrieds has our heads to our teacher, an elderly woman at death's door sneaks into our classroom and gums a few Bisquick sausage balls from the Snack Station. I really don't know how I even saw the quiet little mouse. As quickly ... maybe sluggishly is a better adverb ... as she came, she left, but not until she nestled a handful of sausage balls into a napkin to go.

I had the worst church giggles of my life. At least of my adult life. Dr. J's elbow jabbing didn't help things, nor did the two or three other people that also witnessed the mischievous thievery. Thank goodness I already knew how the story ended.

Another step of me morphing into my mother

Mom always called me during the workday just to chat whenever she was on spring break / summer / whatever teacher holiday she got that I didn't get. And she would just ramble on about the fish in the pond that dad accidentally killed, again ... or tell me that she was going to go to the grocery store ... or or that she saw a car she didn't recognize drive by the house - twice. All while I'm trying to politely squeeze into her ramblings to find out if she needed to speak to me because I was, of course, working.

Anyway, today is the first day of my spring break. I could have an accident with a kitchen knife a little later today and I'd still be grinning ear-to-ear. But I just picked up the phone to call a friend in California that I haven't talked to in months.

1. She works.
2. Like I said, she's in California, and it was only 5:30 a.m. PST

What? I'm up.

The Hardest Part about Teaching

I have to be an adult all day long. Seriously.

And then the moment the students leave and another teacher comes in I turn into a sophomoric idiot. Ironically, it seems that the more mature my kids are, the less mature I become, whipping out ridiculous puns and slapstick routines like there's no tomorrow. I mean, there really must be balance.

Potterwatch.

I sent most of you an email about this yesterday. In case you didn't hear, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is going to be split into 2 parts.

I'm going to come back to this. Right now I want to cry.

Volunteer Teaching

This is my new term for when I come into work for a full day on my day off. Except that I goofed around on iTunes for a full hour first. And sent a dozen unneccesary emails ... and oh wait, now I'm blogging. In any case, today we are out of school, next Friday we are out, and the following week is Spring Break! And I'm taking a full 24 hours to go shopping in Charlotte plus my dad is going to visit for 4 days!!!! Don't think for a second that teachers get all the breaks because I work most nights and weekends. So suck it. It beats last year's work pace, but still ... exhausting.

I'm so excited that Ms. Pettigrew Lives for a Day is out! Frances McDormand is the greatest of the greats. This is definitely a popcorn and soda movie.

Alright, back to grading.

Dreamweaver

1. About two weeks ago I dreamed that I was scolding my brother for wearing "too much eyeliner!" I remember that I was outrageously perturbed by the amount, not the fact that there was eyeliner on his face.

2. Last night I dreamed that I was at my friend Allison's wedding (that I attended .... err ... almost 4 years ago) but that she and her husband were wearing these heavy black drape-like body suits. I know that it doesn't seem like drapes can be body suits, but they can in dreams, and the bottom half had a stripey black velvet around the straight skirt portion. i know, right? And then as they were doing their vows, their stage hands switched out the straight skirt for these larger crimson velvet hoop skirts, but they kept the black body suits on top. Yes, they. As they broke out into choreographed dance like marionettes. This is where I started to wake up a little ...

I don't even know where to begin explaining that away. It is very windy outside though.

Bye Bye, Little Appendix

Took me a couple days to get this here. Geesh.

This was the saddest of all Oscar parties, not even my appendix was able to make it. The day before the party, A decided to start cramping up. All morning I made excuses for it such as menstral cramps, gas (bad, bad gas!) and ... I can't remember what else. I know I took 3 or 4 times the recommended amount of Maalox. Maalox is great, but not for appendices. So after poking around on my tummy I decided yes, it definitely hurt more on one side and told Dr. J it was time to find a medical doctor. Right about then, that's when the lightheaded-ness and the vomiting began.

We only sat in the waiting area about 5 mintues ... a very long 5 minutes. Did I also mention how slowly and delicately and SLOWLY dr j drove to the hospital?? Please, husbands, always make sure you don't run ALL THOSE yellow lights. Stop for them all. Every last one. Even if you think you can make it, stop for the yellow lights. Make that trip last as long as possible. Back to the waiting room ... when they took me in to get my vitals and I told her I needed to lay down. But I meant right then. To prove just how serious I was, I passed out and awoke shortly thereafter to a barrage of shaking, sweating, and vomiting.

That's as ugly as it got though. And it did get me a room, fast!

Poking, prodding, testing ... and appendicitis! Short surgery, night in the hospital, two days home from school and counting. I'm guessing I'll be out through Thursday.

But my oscar party was so sad and lonely! My darling friends and competitors still sent in their ballots, I came in dead last, thank you very much. Keeping up with the ballots was rather difficult to do when you are having to face the ceiling the whole time. I didn't get a good look at the red carpet, but it's all tivo-ed and I am hoping to get back to that later this week.

So, goodbye little appendix! We've had a good run, you and me. I blame all my flaws on you and am starting over with a clean slate. I only wish you weighed more ...

YAY!!

Are you all so very excited? We saved up tons of 2nd and 3rd choice shows to pull us through the writing drought ... but there is a reason those are 2nd and 3rd choice.

To know the latest in what's coming up, I stole this link from TV addict.

Come back Office! I've missed you 30 Rock! Oh! Friday Night Lights - what's going on with Riggins and Smash and Coach Taylor and Matt Sarasen and Santiago and Tyra and Landry???? Don't leave!

Where are you Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, Heroes and Gossip Girl!? I'm lost without you!

Chuck, we love you. Love. You. You were my new favorite. I'm sad you won't be back till next year.

And most importantly - FINISH OUT THAT LOST SEASON! We were patient for 10 months, don't make us riot now.

Look what a DVR can do. What an amazing piece of machinery. You can have your sliced bread.

A Baby Step

Second only to trying to educate the general public about the inner workings of science, my purpose in life seems to be to get others to play dominoes. I wouldn't say that all Texas-born muggles play, but certainly all that ever frequented The Chicken in College Station can hold their own in 42. Not that I've ever been to The Chicken. Except between 1996 and 2002. But other than that I'm most holy.

The problem in getting people to play is that you need 4. No more, no less. Unless you play Mexican Train, which is fine, but isn't for hardcore domino lovers. Tonight I did break down the first barrier and at least get a friend into a one-on-one game of dominoes. Mostly I think she felt the need to babysit me, I probably do seem like a sap. I did come down with a mild case of the nasties within hours of Dr. J's departure. Again, probably more related to the fork I've reused three times in two days.

Hey crew - I made the bed this morning like the grown up that I am! Awww ... wipe that solitary tear.

Movies and macaroni

Dr. J leaves town and I sink into deep bachelorette-hood-dom. I left dirty dishes in the sink and last night, drank coffee from a mug off the counter that may or may not have been entirely clean, and I had a sore throat so I made a pot of macaroni and cheese for dinner. What is wrong with me?? And why do i keep getting sick? And no snide comments about the mediocre cleanliness of my morning mug are necessary, thank you very much.

I miss this little blog-ette and the random comments that I got from friends near and far. Oddly enough, most of you always felt compelled to comment on private emails or via telephone calls. What a strange bunch you all are.

By the way, please tell me you have all seen Juno. And Atonement. I loved that crazy girl, Juno. She reminded me of me, so awkward and outcasted in high school, except for the whole pregnancy thing. I only wish I could have had the confidence to get myself a cheeseburger phone. Or even a hamburger phone.

Back home with mini-Minnie in tote

Dr. J and I decided to vacation this year at Disneyworld. (Does anyone else feel utterly pretentious when using vacation as a verb??) Plans for some summer time-off kept changing and getting put off, then some weddings sneaked in, and we opted for a short trip within driving distance. In very un-Missy-like fashion, I have no major embarassing moments or innocent events gone horribly wrong. It was all quite pleasant. There was the one time when Dr. J woke himself up snoring in the middle of Bourne Ultimatum. Great movie though, in J's defense, we were exhausted. My subconscious apparently likes to really stretch out when on vacation, Dr. J was mercilessly forced to sleep on less than about 12 inches of bed. Poor little guy, such a martyr.

This was Dr. J's first magical journey and my second, although my first was when I was 11 - just a short decade ago. Ok, almost two decades, but who's counting. We have some magical pictures from our magical hotel. Mini-minnie made for an excellent model and boy did that little pup have a blast! Photos soon to come.

A little free advertising for a little book with some huge advice:
Anyone interested in EVER going to Disney, I strongly urge you to read ... no, absorb, the Unofficial Guide to Disney. This little $15 purchase will save you a TON of money, and most importantly, a TON of time. We were done with each park by around 1 pm each day and never waited in line for anything. Twice in four days we waited for 15 minutes. And we went to every attraction imaginable.

Did anyone else know about this wonderfulness?

Becoming Jane

I'm going to pee myself.

Potterwatch

I didn't have time to read the book just yet, but then when the not-reading of the book caused me to not-get my other work done, I decided I'd be better off just getting it over with and not-not-read it anymore. So there, it's all done.



And I tried to avoid the media and friends to keep people from spoiling the ending and now I'm the one that needs to be kept away from all of you!



Nothing to do with the ending, but I'm going through Harry withdrawal already. Without a doubt, I have to start the series over from the beginning.



Major spoliers below - do not read unless you are THROUGH:

(spoiler moved to comment section)

My heart sunk just about 10 seconds ago

When I realized that the cardinal's game this Saturday in Atlanta that I've been looking forward to for months is going to coincide with The Delivery. We'll be gone all day!

Those of you that know what I mean will sympathize. Those of you who don't know what I mean probably aren't my friend anyway.

And I saw the movie this weekend. I think it was my favorite ... I LOVE RON!!! AND NEVILLE!! So adorable. I'm having a hard time separating Harry and Daniel and Equus. Couldn't he have waited until after the series is over to prove to everyone what a man he is?

Consider me your unreliable brother .... or a fair-weather friend

Well, Dr. J and I finally bit the bullet and got high speed at home. I feel like my life has transformed, but into a more sedentary version of itself. The upside of an unstable, slow connection, is that you only use it if it is absolutely necessary. The downsides are innumerable, but I'm catching back up on celebrity gossip quickly and I should be back on par soon. Thank. God.

Anyway, summer does give me more free time, much of which is in front of my computer since I'm in online classes, so I do plan to post from time to time. I know once school starts back, that luxury will be ripped out from under me faster than Professor McGonagall can tear a fly in half. And she'll do it too.

I don't ever check this site anymore so I'm not sure why anyone else would ..

But just in case, here's an update:

WOW. First semester of teaching almost through. I've nearly totally and completely burnt myself out in just a few short months. But the pace of working pretty much all weekend every weekend, and until 9 or 10 every night has a very short wick, you see. Throw in a few 8 hour Saturday classes with all the trimmings (aka homework), I have almost nothing else to report. Oh, wait, yes I do. In January, all my classes repeat and I won't have to wing it so much, and create notes completely from scratch day in and day out.

I am, however, having a great time, I'm just exhausted. Today is a day off for election day. Kudos to SC for making election day a holiday instead of Veterans Day. Don't get me wrong, I love the vets, but today seems so much more purposeful and with Veterans Day a mere 3 days away, I can give them an early shout out from here.

Two weeks from today is our last school day before Thanksgiving. Dr J and I aren't going anywhere; he's got grand plans to stain the deck and I've got grander ones of yoga and pedicures. We went to Texas about a month ago for my 10 year reunion (which was surprisingly nice!) and we are going to ColOmibia for Christmas so this will be our time home. And in case you are hoping to invite us to your Christmas party, you need to get that invite in the mail because our holiday social calender is all but chock full between now and the new year!

Now that this semester is almost under control, I hope to have a little e-time every now and then. It's starting to stay colder here (not cold, just can't run around in your knickers) which is good, and thank the lord that Mona has taught herself to play fetch. Fun and warmth all in one!

I do apologize to all my friends who have been e-neglected for several months. Congrats to all my friends popping out little ones in the next few months as well!!