Blink Blink

That was my initial response yesterday when Dr. J asked me "what's a thang?"

Then I saw we were in front of this store.

and I remembered he's ColOmbian. So cute.

At this point it's kinda like a challenge

Friends, I'm about one toe nail clip away from having grown off my toe nailpolish.

Another victim of winter.

I have really gassey babies

I live under the assumption that everything about my babies is normal so I was relatively certain that everyone's house was consumed by putrid fumes, like mine. And I thought the nursery workers were nuts for changing them 2 or 3 or 4 times in the span of an hour and a half.

But when grandma comes to town, and tells you that you have gassy babies, well son, you've got gassy babies.

There is no end to the circle of electronic life at our house

I married a geek, albeit an adorable one who is a wonderful husband, but a straight up computer geek. The major plus side to this is that the electronics in our house work seamlessly. He has seizures when the dishwasher breaks, takes 4+ hours to hang a curtain rod (PERFECTLY - I dare you to find a flaw), but wow ... we have some fancy pants electronics.

We also have a 30 digit passkey to secure our wireless, full of alphanumeric, upper and lower case, and crazy symbols that most people don't know exist on keyboards.

Dr. J gave me Apple TV for Christmas (we have it early since we won't be here on the big day) a tool I didn't even know I needed. I can now stream anything from my phone to the television and control it with my iPhone (Ivanka) ... or use Ivanka to control the computer and stream from the computer to the TV using Ivanka as a remote. And play games. Modern couch potatoes are so savvy.

If you know how to install tile or refinish floors, your head is probably spinning and you didn't even finish reading the previous paragraph. But I'm sipping coffee, listening to Christmas music on the TV, and posting to my blog ... all from Ivanka. Ok, so Ivanka can't make coffee ... yet.

I found my life's mission statement on a napkin this weekend

Ahem.

There is nothing that a glass of wine and a good hair straightener can't fix.


If someone takes it upon themselves to write my biography post-mortem, please make sure that's the title. Or at least the subtitle. Do they subtitle books on the cover?? In any case, it needs to be on the cover.

Although I have found that a glass of wine can't fix preggo weight gain. And everyone that says it'll just fall off on its own is LYING. Come to think of it, no one related to me has ever said that it does. Just the frail people that shop in petites in the first place. DANG IT.

Things I wish I knew before becoming a parent, Ed 1

One day, you may be tempted to think that you can take a overly full diaper* off of one baby, run to the other room to get a clean diaper and come back ... but you can't. At least not before he pees on his brother. Who just had a bath.

*this is because you forgot to change his diaper several hours earlier when you knew he needed a change

How have I survived this long without one of these?

Hit me up wi' it this year, Dr. J.


Anyone think that my eyebrows will look as good as hers if I don a mini-hat?? Man, she looks happy.

Here I go again, solving one of life's biggest struggles

How often should you shave in the winter months, ladies???

State Holidays. BAM!

That's Thanksgiving, Christmas, MLK's Bday and Presidents Day HOLLA!!!!

If you party into the New Year, you outta add that one but I find it's still there if I kiss it good morning. Otherwise, you are in for the once a month ride with me.

Everyday Heroes

No! Benjamin! Don't kick Lucas in the head!!

Oh wait.

Lucas! Release Benjamin's leg and stop sucking on it!!



They grow up so fast.

Which may explain why there are no trick or treaters there anymore

I may be a little shaky on some of the details, but this is pretty much what happened.

My parents are on a diet and it's Halloween ... I know, right? Those three in combination are begging to collapse in on one another.

They live in a neighborhood that ... ahem, lacks many people under 3 feet tall (AKA trick or treaters), and in the last couple of years, this once bustling neighborhood hasn't seen many treaters. Still, Mom told Dad to pick up some candy before coming home on Friday and he got two bags of candy that he thought they wouldn't be tempted to eat, Bubblegum and single wrapped Starbursts.

Apparently as the weekend went on, Dad made the comment "we've gotta get rid of this candy" no less than a dozen times a day. They ended up throwing the Bubblegum at some kids that had just burst a pinata on Saturday night, so that bag didn't even make it to Sunday. On Sunday evening, still needing to "get rid of the candy" and the prospect of treaters was looking grim, Dad decides that he's going to take the candy to my Aunt's house. But, lo and behold!, he sees two trick or treaters coming to the door!!

Mom listens from the kitchen as he asks them all about their costumes, and if they like Starbursts (don't you remember those old guys that used to really make you work for it?). When he comes back, she asks him, how many Starbursts did you give them? To which he replies ...

One.

You can't imagine how hard it is to get a picture of both of them smiling

Two Scary Glo-in-the-Dark Skeletons


Where are you, dear photoshop?

We are so modern

Anyone see Modern Family that aired right after my last post??? Classic.

Dr. J just called me a Scary Cat when trying to tell me I'm a coward. Love it!!

Rugs, Beavers and Chupetas

What's a Blimplie? Or Blinky? I can't totally remember but there is some word that everyone on the planet seems to use for pacifier and they are always asking Lucas, Awwww ... did you lose your Blini?

First of all, that little man is not very dependent on his Blingy but that's not a real word anyway. I grew up calling them a "P" so if I was going to go all anacronym on my kids, I'd totally use that one. And why do people think they should superimpose their non-words in our home? I mean, we have plenty of non-words that we use in regular language, but we aren't non-word-pushers, you know?

The title refers to three non-words that are regularly used in our home, all of them refer to baby gear of some sort. Peek in the comments for the answers. Yes, all "created" from Dr. J's misuse of the English language and his wife's need to chastise him for it.

Sorta like golf

Dang.

I so wish I had kept a running tally of how many times I've been vomited on (something I was pretty certain I would never be able to tolerate but now I'm willing to sacrifice to save the furniture at all costs) vs how many times Dr. J has taken the blow.

Dr. J went into neurogenic shock the first time it happened to him. I took it better than expected. It was kinda warm ... like getting baptized (my 9 year old self was pleasantly surprised when that took place) but sour smelling.

Not really a game you want to win, but we're playing anyway. Our weekend tally alone was about 3-4 Me.

Go me.

A New Hope

Sunday when we were flying around the house trying to get ready for the boys’ first day in nursery, Dr. J picked up the bouncy seat with somebody* in it and starts making engine sounds. As he is walking away I hear him tell what’s-his-face** something about a spaceship and I immediately start trying to intervene.

How about a plane?? Does it have to be a ...

Dr. J interrupts about the time I say “does” and shouts back “there are no wings!! It has to be a spaceship!!!”

God help us. They’ll have spock ears before they can walk. Yes I realize my post title references Star Wars, not Star Trek. If you even knew that and were offended by the liberty I took, you are part of the problem. I suppose there are those that will side with Dr. J on this. (this still supports my point though)

* this is what we call either of them when we are in a hurry and can't think of who is in front of us

** this too. Amazing how quickly we got to this point.

In Training

Even if we won't be going to our own Superbowl, I'm not going to raise fair weather fans. Go Cowboys!!!

Here, the boys are ready to accept endorsement offers (or donations for diapers, whatever).

MidWeek Blues

Why do I always seem to be so unwilling to take a shower on Wednesdays? I suppose if I knew the answer to that I'd also be able to respond to my bi-monthly leg shaving sessions. I think I have one coming up in a fortnight or so, actually.

Update on Lucas

Sorry I haven't given an update - I couldn't do it from my phone for some reason and never got to a computer till now. Thank you so much for your prayers, we still need them!

Things aren't completely settled yet. The doc said the surgery went well ... the post surgery fall out has been a roller coaster. He had a day of no eating, way too heavy of painkillers, then a day of mediocre eating, then a day of vomiting, then a better day, followed by another day of vomiting ... which took us back to the doctor today. This poor guy can't catch a break and he's really too small to do this for too long. His personality is returning and he isn't dehydrated, so hopefully small progress is good enough.

I have a great story to tell about my neighbors, but it'll have to wait. Gotta get some sleep!

Say a prayer for my baby, Lucas

Yesterday when we went to get lucas' casts changed for new ones (a weekly event), we were surprised with the decision by his doctor to do surgery on his feet .... Today. We had been told each week that the feet looked good and we could probably avoid surgery. It has been a hectic and anxious 24 hours. I'll be so glad when this is behind us.

Starved for even a mild form of adult entertainment

I just had the most exciting daydream about a vacuum.



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