All this fresh material and no one to tell

So I was returning from lunch with a few coworkers today when the oddest thing happened. I notice one of my coworkers not paying attention to a THING that my other coworker was saying - this was not unusual - but the head jerking and face making was. As I'm about to have to ask coworker #1 to repeat herself because coworker #2 is being so incredibly distracting, I say to coworker #1 "what are you ... " and that's when I was struck with the inability to close my mouth or to utter a word as I stood there. staring at a young lad who had decided to sunbathe in all his pastey-whiteness wearing only a pair of khaki's (what else) on the concrete loading dock behind our building. He looked to be cushioned by the meager remains of a well-worn hand towel.